Postpartum Progress

Insecure Attachment Style and Colic

According to a Reuters article on May 25, "Postpartum maternal depressive symptoms may be associated with insecure attachment style and infantile colic, according to results of a study published in the May issue of the Archives of Diseases in Childhood."

In a study conducted in Turkey, mothers whose infants had infantile colic had a significantly higher mean Edinburgh Postpartum Depression Scale score than mothers of infants without colic. (In English, I assume that means they suffered from some level of postpartum mood disorder.)

"A larger number of mothers had insecure attachment style when their infants had infantile colic compared to the mothers whose infants did not have infantile colic ... That finding was statistically significant."

I looked up "insecure attachment style" and found out it refers to "parents of insecure children [who] tend to be less responsive to their children’s signs of distress. These parents are unavailable either physically, psychologically, or emotionally and tend to be insensitive or unpredictable in their response to attachment needs."  I don't know if I met that definition, but I'm sure I wasn't completely available to my son psychologically, and I know that he had terrible problems with colic.

"The authors note that screening, early diagnosis, and treatment of postpartum depression may improve both the mother's and the infant's health. They call for further studies to determine the effect of treatment of maternal depression on the occurrence of infantile colic."

Yet another reason to get treated right way at the first signs of postpartum mood disorder.  What a vicious cycle that PPD may lead to colic, which I can tell you from my own experience can, in turn, worsen PPD.

Washington State Launches "Speak Up When You're Down"

This great bit of news was sent to me at the beginning of May but I'm just now getting around to posting it because my little pumpkin pie has been keeping me very busy.  (She's now three months old and quite entertaining!)  Anyway, my apologies to Washington for being so late in sharing the great news:

The state of Washington has launched a new "Speak Up When You're Down" PPD public awareness campaign.  It focuses on providing basic information about the signs and symptoms of postpartum mood disorders, offering a toll-free phone number (1-888-404-7763) and a website (www.speakup.wa.gov) for more information.  The phone line is handled by Postpartum Support International of Washington. 

A law passed in 2005 by the state legislature authorized the campaign.  That law was largely driven by Washington resident Thomas Soukakos, owner of a popular Seattle cafe, who led a grassroots effort after losing his wife to PPD in 2003.  Thank you, Mr. Soukakos, for turning a personal tragedy into a positive resource for women all across Washington.

Prescription Assistance for Psychiatric Medications

Someone recently pointed me to the Partnership for Prescription Assistance program.  I've seen the commercials on TV, of course, but for some reason it never hit me that this would be an excellent program for those people who have little or no insurance and cannot afford the psychiatric medications they need to help recover from a postpartum mood disorder.  In the six months since the program began, more than 1 million qualified people have been able to get no cost or low cost prescriptions.  I went on the website myself, and saw that Eli Lilly, the maker of Cymbalta and Prozac, participates in the program.  So does GlaxoSmithKline, the maker of Wellbutrin, Wyeth, the maker of Effexor, and Pfizer, the maker of Zoloft, as well as other pharmaceutical companies.  Qualifications vary by program so I can't tell you whether you'd individually qualify -- you'll have to go to the site and fill out the necessary forms or you can call 1-888-4PPA-NOW. 

Thanks to Helena Bradford for the heads up!

On Experiencing What It Should Be Like To Be A New Mom

I've been thinking a lot lately about the differences between experiencing new motherhood with a postpartum mood disorder and without one, which seems to be my current state.  (Knock on wood.)  It's like night and day.  The joy I feel mothering my baby girl Madden serves to both free me from the bonds of my postpartum OCD experience, and make me angry and sad that I missed out on this joy with my beautiful boy Jackson.

While experiencing postpartum OCD, every minute, no, every second of every day was excruciating.  I had such anxiety I wasn't sure I'd be able to make it through the next hour.  I begged my husband to come home for lunch and to leave work early in the evenings.   Simply because of a chemical imbalance in my brain, I was convinced I couldn't handle being a mother.  I felt I didn't know how to keep Jack entertained at all times, as if an infant needs to be entertained at all times!  I felt sure that if I put him down, or wasn't showing him colors and making animal noises and working on making sure he could hold his head up and meet all his milestones properly that I would be failing him as a mother.  I had a piece of paper on which I obsessively tracked every hour of the day, writing down when and how much he ate, how long we played and how long he napped.  If I didn't write it down, I felt like I wouldn't be able to remember and wouldn't know when to do what.  Maybe it gave me some false sense of control ... 

I loved my son so deeply at that time, just as I surely do now, but there was no joy because I was too busy being scared to death of myself.  All of the sudden I had no idea who I was.  Who was this person who constantly kept wondering what it would be like if I drowned my son, or smothered him or dropped him?  Who was this person who felt like she was walking around inside a strange bubble, watching the world go by but not able to connect or communicate with it?  I even remember freaking out over turns of phrase that normally wouldn't make me think twice.  I would casually say to my husband "he's dead asleep" and almost immediately nearly have a heart attack for saying it that way, as though that meant something dark and terrible was building in my subconscious that could at any moment rise to the surface. 

I knew I had a horrible experience, but I don't think I knew exactly how horrible until now.  Now I have a baby again, a beautiful girl that I also love deeply, and I'm happy and free.  I write absolutely nothing down, because there's no need.  I trust myself that I'll know what to do when it's time to do it, whether napping or feeding or playing.  And as for playing, I just don't have an agenda.  We just hang out.  Can you imagine?!  This time I'm okay with silence, with no plan in place, with no activity to do, without anyone else around.  I can just sit and look at her delicate face and an hour might pass.  I wish so much that my body would have let me have that same feeling with Jackson when he was so small.  I was so ill that I couldn't experience the beauty of a newborn.  Now I look at my baby and think how fleeting infancy is and how sad I'll be when it's over and I can't hold her all bundled up against my chest.

I'm grateful we can get better and experience the wonder of our children.  For those of you experiencing a postpartum mood disorder right now, you CAN get better and your child will love you no less deeply than any other child loves their mother.  How do I know?  My husband and Jack went for a nighttime walk on the beach during our vacation a few weeks ago.  They laid down on the sand so they could look at the stars.  My husband then asked Jack if he'd ever seen anything so beautiful.  Jack answered, "My mom."

Happy Mother's Day.

PPMD Moms Dinner in Manhattan on June 8th

I'm looking forward to meeting as many of you as possible that will be attending the PSI Conference in June.  I'll be there on Friday the 9th.  Would anybody like to have dinner with me on the evening of the 8th?  Say 8pm in Midtown?  I couldn't get a reservation at the Hyatt so I'm staying in Manhattan, which is just across the Holland Tunnel.  Whoever wants to come can hop in a cab together and meet me at my hotel and we can go out somewhere great to eat.  A gathering of women and great food ...  Email me at stonecallis@msn.com if you're interested. 

P.S.  If you're not used to going into NYC and are nervous about it, don't be.  I go there all the time and I'll take good care of you!

Advocates to Lobby Capitol Hill on May 12

Associated Press' writer David Crary recently wrote this article on the steps being taken by more and more states to screen new moms for postpartum mood disorders.

The article states that on May 12 advocates for more ambitious federal action will lobby on Capitol Hill.  I wasn't aware of that.  I wish I could be there ... those Congressmen and women wouldn't know what hit them ...

Christian-Based Website Offers Comfort to PPD Sufferers

For those readers who are Christians and find comfort in their faith, there is a new website called Out of the Valley Ministries that was created to provide Christian encouragement and support for women suffering from postpartum mood disorders.

Created by Tara Mock, who suffered severe postpartum depression after the birth of her son last year, it features community forums and Bible-based inspiration.  Mock created the site because she discovered a need during her own recovery for a Christian ministry dedicated to supporting women just like her.  You can find the site here.